I am heading out tomorrow to visit my family. A six hour road trip is in my immediate future. I prefer road trips to the mountains but this will be fun. I get to see my little nieces and nephew, hug my brothers and sisters-in-law, celebrate mother's day with my mom and cruise the main street of the small town I grew up in. Fun, fun!
I have recently chewed all my finger nails down. Right down. Why? Anxiety. I have chemo coming up when I get home from my little getaway. Every cycle I seem to have worse anxiety. Feeling the chemicals inside me is almost too much some days. It is even more important to not center my life around my diagnosis when my anxiety comes. I need to get out there and live life! Especially on days I feel so good I forget I have cancer. My nails are gone, but just for now. I still have my hair!!
So I shall go see my family. Enjoy the open road before me and bask in the love I shall receive once I arrive. Once in awhile it is good to mix it up and change your surroundings. The trials we go through are meant to shape us. I have grown up hearing that little anecdote. I am not sure how cancer and treatment is supposed to shape me, yet I feel confident in the knowledge that every day I have the choice to wallow or shine. I choose to shine!! Shine, and fly.